Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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