Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm bleeding and have questions
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