Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize