I'm jealous of your bromance
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
