Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
