nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
