Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
