i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
