I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
