I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
