I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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