That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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