Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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