...so i touched it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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