Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
