Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
