and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
