i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize