They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
