shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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