So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The air was thick with penises
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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