when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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