I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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