roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Gay?
German.
Pity.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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