Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
