i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
