U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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