My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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