based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
