So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
