I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
