drinking out of a sandbucket again
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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