I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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