All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
