I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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