There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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