Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
