My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm having to shit out rocks
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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