I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Girls should come with a carfax report
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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