why im i the only drunk person in the library?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
