The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
