Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
