Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
