Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
