No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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