Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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