Michael Bay diarrhea
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize