Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
