I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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