help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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