My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
