id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
