We won't sleep together?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
