Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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