Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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