I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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