Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
