If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
