is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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