my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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