Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
