I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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